Heroic Family Response to Loss of Son on 9/11

A Family's Response to Loss of Son, 9/11/01

by Bob Golden

This was for the Catholic diocesan paper, but Bob points out that the golden rule: “do unto others, as you'd have them do unto you,” is mirrored in some fashion by all six of the world's major religions.

Matthew Kelly, in his Rediscovering Catholicism, recommends finding Catholic heroes. (We surely could use them.)

9/11/2001 – Michael Canty, among nearly 3000 others, died in the attack on the World Trade Center. The airwaves were full of anger, talk of “retaliation” and revenge. On the contrary, the family of Michael Canty took a decidedly and truly Christian response.

August 11, 2001(exactly one month before) – Our son Patrick's 40^th birthday party in Pat's backyard – we met Ed and Kay Canty. Pat had befriended their son Jim Canty at St. Bonaventure Univ. in the 1980's. After Bona's, Pat went to grad school in Albany and then took work there. He roomed with Jim and his brothers Bill and Jack. Jim fixed up Pat with the Canty's friend (subsequently his wife of 20 years and mother of their three children).

I had regular business in Albany and evenings would get together with Pat and the Canty brothers. The Canty lads were respectful, intelligent, well-informed and fun. Then Pat bought an income property. Jack Canty and another brother, Tim, became boarders. Bill lived around the corner. I'd often stay with Pat and the Cantys there.

Once I had a Monday meeting. Wife Marg and I traveled to Albany to spend the weekend with Pat. Jack had the only double bed. He gave it up to Marg and me. Sunday we all went to church together, meeting Bill there. We had a great weekend with them all.

“We're really impressed with you young men,” we told them, “We've got to meet your folks. They must be wonderful people.”

8/11/2001 – I repeated this to Ed and Kay. Ed replied, “Pat is like an eighth son to us.” The Cantys have 2 daughters and 7 sons. I was pleased.

9/11/2001, late afternoon – Called Pat to see if he knew anyone in the World Trade Center. He said Michael Canty was on the 92^nd floor in Tower 1.

Pat had often been to Canty family events. Mike was as kind, giving and accepting as his eight siblings.

Although Tower 2 shockingly fell in 57 minutes, Tower 1 lasted longer. I hopefully pointed out to Pat that Tower 1 didn't seem to take as big a blow as Tower 2. When the plane hit Tower 2 the flames went all the way through the building. Not so with Tower 1. Mike was on the 92nd floor, above where the plane hit. We watched the films over and over. It appeared that the far side of Tower 1 wasn't as damaged and maybe Mike could have made his way down the stairs. We hoped and prayed. It was not to be.

I remembered someone had survived, riding down a collapsing skyscraper in a South American earthquake. Was it possible? We continued to pray. for Mike and the Cantys.

We anxiously awaited any hopeful news.

President George W. Bush made his first statement. He assured the public that we'd “retaliate.”

In Tom Clancy's 1988 The Cardinal and the Kremlin, Archer, an Afghan teacher, whose wife and daughter had been killed by the Russians, his son kidnapped and his village leveled, became a renegade avenger, killing many Russians.

In a “JAG” TV episode, Harm was telling Mac(Catherine Bell) about a soldier friend, who'd lost his wife and son in 9/11. This man formed a lawless assassin team and went after the Taliban. “Wouldn't you want to do that?” he asked Mac.

All three of those reactions made some emotional, if not Christian, sense.

Michael Canty did die on 9/11 at ground zero.

How did the Canty family respond? I'm sure they went through some feelings of anger. But, they didn't seek revenge, didn't seem preoccupied with “retaliation.” Instead, they established a scholarship fund in Michael's name. On the second anniversary, 2003, they agreed to have a community-wide party to raise funds for the Scholarship Fund and to celebrate Mike's life: the “Mike Canty Family Fun Run.” As one person said, “The Cantys don't have time, or want to waste their energy seeking revenge.”

Family and friends of Mike organized a 5 Kilometer race. Ed and Kay became the hosts. They're very community, Church and family-involved people. To the 5 kilometer race were added live music, games for the children and a barbeque. They handed out T-shirts and 16 oz. glasses, with a quote from one of Mike's letters, “Thank you my friend for braving the storm with me, and for making the sunny days a little brighter.” About 400 family members and friends came. They've made it an annual happening. Approximately as many have come the succeeding 8 years.

From the Scholarship website: “Mike had an easy way of recalling his childhood imagination and his nieces and nephews adored him. He gave to them...love, support and humor. The scholarship fund created in Mike's name will allow him to continue to give to children in need for many years to come.”

Among gifts, sponsorships, grants and the Fun Run they've raised nearly a million dollars. They've given out 10 scholarships. Thusfar, 6 recipients have graduated from MIT, UMass, Boston U., Hobart and Smith, Clarkson and Sacred Heart University.

Mike's fund participates in the Capitol Region Sponsor-a-Scholar Program, which assists economically disadvantaged youths to graduate from high school and attend college.

Also, “A financial award has been established in Mike's memory at his college, Loyola in Baltimore MD. The Loyola award assists students who incur financial setbacks during the school year because of such things as a lay-off of a financial provider...”

“Let us be servants

“to one another,

“making Your Kingdom come.” (From the hymn “Christ Be Our Light.”)

That's the response of followers of Christ. They are thankful for their time with Michael and for their life in general. They use the occasion to celebrate his life and honor his memory.

Ironically, for the 19 perpetrators who maliciously believed they were “martyrs” attacking the infidels, Michael Canty was far from that. He was exactly the just and concerned person they shouldn't wanted to have killed. Maybe that's the ultimate tragedy of revenge. ( I suggested this to Kay at the first Fun Run. She heartily agreed.)

Ed and Kay Canty are “heroes,” (as Kelly suggests) to me and to many others.

“Longing for truth,

“We turn to You.

“Make us Your own,

“Your holy people,

“Light for the world to see.” (from “Christ Be Our Light.”)

If you wish to participate in the Michael Canty Memorial Fund or the Fun Run, visit Bill's business website: www.CantyFinancial.com and click on the Fund.

Bob Golden is a Eucharistic Minister, 47 year Holy Family Parish (Albion)parishioner, where he and wife Margaret have and continue to serve in many capacities. He worked 34 years in Criminal Justice, served on the State Probation Commission, was Chair of President Reagan's Advisory Council on Migrant Health. He's currently on the Buffalo Diocesan Peace and Justice Commission and chair of its Immigration Sub-Committee.